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splurby's Journal
Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.
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2009.11.10 12.51
don't you hate it when....
... you go out to dinner for a few hours and your dog decides to try to blow up the house?
i swear, buddy, we'll be back! *please* don't play with the pretty knobs in the kitchen again. ever. you don't have to kill yourself over being left alone for an evening!
Mood:  surprised
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2009.09.23 10.26
now isn't that clever....?
our office closes at 4:45 p.m.
at 5:06 p.m. yesterday, our illustrious it department sent out an e-mail message with detailed instructions on how we were to change our logins first thing in the morning, or else we wouldn't be able to access our e-mail.
ummmmm...yeah.
Mood:  blank
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2009.09.22 16.08
i figured out this morning (around 5 a.m.) why kids are so scared to let anything hang off the side of the bed....or even get within 5 inches of the side of the bed, now that i think about it.
it's not that monsters are going to come up from the floor to try to eat them. this is *almost* true, and easy to misinterpret while still in a groggy half-sleep. however, the licking they feel on their hands isn't a hungry *monster*....it's really just a yellow, floppy eared *dog* who's looking for his morning reaffirmation of love.
"mom? are you awake? oh, you are! wanna pet me?"
Mood:  tired
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2009.02.04 16.51
he queue, she queue, ah we queue, i queue, you queue, ah they queue
so we have a netflix subscription. i have my queue, which is lots of thrillers and murder mysteries. i get two movies at a time.
the tall one has his queue, which is lots of sci-fi television and anime. he gets one movie at a time.
sometimes we watch each other's movies. or, rather, i'll put in one of my movies and he'll stick around for 15 minutes and then shake his head and leave. or he'll put in one of his movies, and i'll fall asleep on the couch after 15 minutes (or less if it's the new dr. who....then i'm often out before the theme song is over. i swear the dr. who theme song is the single best lullaby EVER.)
anyway, yesterday the tall one asked if i wanted to watch a movie. i said we could watch my movie, but not his movie, cuz his movies are no good. he asked what my movie was, and i couldn't remember, so i logged on to netflix (since i was at my computer) to see what had been shipped out recently, since we both got movies that morning.
and yes, it said:
Title Ship date
Wanted 02/02/09
Wanted 02/02/09
the best part? we both hated it.
Mood:  amused
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2008.11.21 12.30
now *that's* dry....
noticed there was no fan in the bathroom of the denver hotel. wondered if there'd be lots of steam and thus mold in the tub. one minute after opening the door to the bathroom after a long, hot shower, steam was completely gone.
oh, yeah, it's *dry* here. they don't need bathroom fans.
bizarre.
Mood:  impressed
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2008.11.19 20.24
12 plus 1 is 14....
...according to my hotel.
i'm in room 1409. but no matter how you look at it, there's still exactly 12 floors below me, so this is really the 13th floor, even if i do hit the 14 button in the elevator. can people not do that math on their own? i'm just saying....
Mood: amused
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2008.10.04 21.17
my dog has alot to say....
....more than i do, actually.
so i set him up with his own lj. that way people who aren't interested in dog stuff don't have to filter through it, and those who are can friend him.
so there you have it.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) senator_bentley
Mood:  busy
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2008.09.11 09.09
the best cover letter EVER
so i'm looking for a new database person. again. these are my favorite things about the best cover letter EVER (which is below):
1. it reads extremely awkwardly.
2. it looks like he copied a sentence from a job description and put it word for word in his letter. ("in addition, the candidate will...")
3. it's *not even the qualifications I posted*, which included "attention to detail is imperative."
4. this bozo got a master's degree?!?!
awesome.
btw, if you know anyone who's remotely qualified, my posting is for the information systems coordinator position on jobs.wit.edu .
******
To Whom It May Concern:
Greetings. I am writing to you for an Information Technology opportunity.
The accomplishments include the installation and implementation of an Enterprise Resource Planning system for public utilities. The experience includes several large implementation projects both domestically and internationally. In addition, the candidate will have several years experience in the installation of integrated student, human resource,
and financial information systems.
The academic achievements include a graduate degree as a Master’s of Business
Administration. The academic pursuits include current a doctorate degree. The club associations include membership in the PROS Toastmaster International.
The work experience and educational background are the strong qualifications for the opportunity.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
xxxxnameremovedtoprotecttheunintelligentxxx, MBA
Mood:  cynical
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2008.08.20 08.36
the senator's philosophy....
according to senator bentley q. noseworthy, if it's good enough to sniff, it's good enough to roll around in. this includes, but is not limited to:
* dead animals
* pine tree sap
* dogpoop
mmmmmdelicious.
Mood:  nauseated
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2008.08.06 10.57
out on patrol
little girl (about 3 years old): doggie!
curly one: he's very friendly. you can pet him if you're gentle.
girl slowly walks over, fingers covered in frosting: doggie!
curly one: the doggie might try to lick your fingers.
little girl goes back to mommy to clean fingers. then returns to gently pat the doggie, who is already lying down on the sidewalk waiting for some pets.
little girl, pointing: what's that?
curly one: that's a bowl of water in case the doggie gets thirsty.
little girl: ohhhhh.
a few minutes later, the little girl dumps out the water on the sidewalk, which gets the doggie's hindquarters all wet. doggie doesn't seem to notice. little girl's father is mortified.
little girl: i gave the doggie a drink!
curly one: that's nice, but he drinks from the *other* end.
Mood: amused
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2008.07.26 09.58
doggie!
i'm getting a doggie!
next saturday!
let the pets begin!!!!!
Mood:  bouncy
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2008.06.18 10.20
kitty!
as i was walking in to work this morning, i passed by a house with a wooden fence in front of it. at the far end, on the post, there was a big fuzzy cat lying down. "kitty!" i thought.
then i got to the other end of the fence, and there was another big fuzzy cat lying down on the other post, in the exact same position. "oh, guardian kitties!" just like the lion statues you see outside of buildings. i think they thought they looked like this:
http://www.china-hongkong-travelguide.com/image-files/hong-kong-shanghai-bank-04.jpg
Mood: amused
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2008.06.10 11.27
woo hoo!
my office is doing flex days for the next two months....no more working on mondays for me until late august!
woo hoo!
and they're giving us july 3 off, too.
yes!!!!
Mood: grateful
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2008.04.07 22.17
palm trees!
palm trees!
in ireland!
who knew?
Mood: surprised
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2008.03.21 09.53
feeding the kitty
tall one: we have to go over to a friend's house to feed his cat.
curly one: does the cat eat dry food or disgustful wet stuff?
tall one: i don't know.
curly one: you don't know? do you know *where* the food is?
tall one: no, but we'll find it.
curly one: mmmmm....okay. do you know how *much* to feed the cat?
tall one: it's a *cat*. we feed it. it'll be fine.
curly one: mmmmm....okaay.
***now at friend's house.***
curly one goes to living room and pets cat, figuring the feeding is all up to the tall one, who obviously has it completely under control. tall one goes into the kitchen. curly one hears every single cabinet being opened and closed for the next few minutes.
tall one (repeatedly as doors are opened and closed): no cat food here. where's the cat food? (to the cat): can you show me where your food is?
curly one stays in the living room, so tall one won't hear giggling.
tall one: oh, here it is.
curly one then hears the sound of millions of pieces of catfood hitting the floor.
tall one: oh, well. the cat'll clean it up.
curly one tries not to laugh out loud.
sounds of a vacuum cleaner come from the kitchen.
curly one cries from laughing.
Mood: amused
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2008.03.12 18.33
cheap cell service?
my cousin is moving to boston for the next year, and is looking for a good deal on cheap all-you-can-call cell phone deals. suggestions?
Mood:  curious
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2008.03.06 16.17
now *this* is cool
i just heard from a friend about the modular "luke arm", the newest creation by segway creator dean kamen. technology is so neat!
watch the video
Mood: impressed
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contemplative
